So how was this year for you?
A masterpiece? Or a mess?
Were you sailing? Or sinking?
It’s that time of year once again that simply BEGS for us to reflect on the past year … and to envision what we want to be, do and have in 2012. Even though every moment and every day is a new beginning, it’s a significant inflection point to look at that fresh 2012 calendar and see “January 1st”! How do you want next year to look? What do you want to be saying, seeing and feeling this time next year?
Here are some questions that I invite you to print out and spend some time with today and tomorrow … and perhaps bring with you to be the hit of your New Year’s party! I encourage you to share them with friends and family … and ideally print out as the ultimate conversation starter over the next couple of days.
As always, I welcome your comments and examples by email.
May you have an incredibly inspiring New Year that launches your best year yet!
George
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Last winter our power went out for 2 ½ days – no heat, no lights, so electronics…nada! Well, I guess “nada” is not true as we discovered. When it first went out it was daytime, so the impact was minimal. We could see and go about our business yet we knew our laptop, cell phone and iPod batteries were ticking.
As evening approached, we started searching for candles and headlamps. I remember a distinct feeling of “this is a bummer – it’s so much nicer to be bathed in lights and music.” We cooked – OK, “mixed and stirred” – and ate dinner by candlelight. Kind of nice, we thought. Once dinner was over…now what? We went into our living room to sit by the fire – our only source of heat. It was there that we discovered the blessing in all of this: the specialness of doing nothing but staring into a fire…the intimacy of my wife and I and our two kids all together on a blanket instead of everyone dispersed doing their own thing…the enjoyment of the simple gift of conversation – talking about things and laughing much more and for far longer than we would have with the lights.
It was there that we experienced much more with having far less. It was there in the dark that we discovered the inner light within ourselves and each other. It was there – having lost what we thought was critical – that we were reminded of what’s essential.
The next night we got to experience another night of candles and sitting by the fire. The following day the lights came back on. Phew! Yet part of me was disappointed and didn’t want to lose that closeness, that simplicity. So that night we turned off some of the lights, lit some candles and gave ourselves the luxury of the simple, candle-lit life.
This holiday season, in between the parties, the pre- and post-holiday shopping, the last-minute logistics and running around, consider taking time to find that quiet spot. Turn off some lights. Light a candle. Meditate on the simplicity of the source of the holiday (holyday) traditions – whether it’s a simple manger without heat or lights…or the Hanukkah celebration of a small lamp with little oil that burned for eight days…or the solstice celebration of the shortest and darkest day of the year. All simple traditions that strip away the ancillary to help us reconnect with the essential. And that, I believe, is the best gift we can give ourselves or each other.
Enjoy!
There is a local musician named Aaron “Woody” Wood whose music has really struck a deep chord with me over the years. He is an amazingly gifted and soulful singer, songwriter and guitar player. Woody is rich in talent but not in money. I learned that he was in the midst of a make-or-break effort to raise money to record an album through an innovative fundraising process via Kickstarter.com. He needed to raise $9,000 by a certain date: If he made it then he would get everyone’s pledges and make the album and if he didn’t make it no one would be charged and he’d get nothing…it was all or nothing.
He was 7 weeks into a 9 week campaign and was only half-way there. He had reached the cross-roads in his career of either being able to make the album or get out of music. The passion and talent were there, but not the paycheck.
I called him up, introduced myself and told him I was inspired to do what it took to help him reach his goal. I committed to throwing a fundraising party with a live auction. Now, you should know that my life was already way too busy and full, so why, I wondered later, would I take this on? I came up with four answers:
So how does the story end? Well, clearly Woody’s soulful talent and bold goal touched many people because we raised over $1,000 at the party. And yesterday afternoon (3 days before his deadline) Aaron “Woody” Wood crossed his finish line.
May his music play on…and inspire each of us to play our song in our own lives.
Take a few minutes to reflect on these questions:
Each night my wife, our two children and I take time before dinner to each name something for which we are grateful. We never know what we’re going to get as an answer from our two young kids: sometimes they’re grateful for us – their parents; if they’re not fighting then perhaps for each other; while often it’s for any food they had during the day that contained sugar. (And, of course, the latter trumps any gratitude for parents or siblings.)
Gratitude is one of those uniquely human ways of taking pause from focusing on getting somewhere or obtaining the next thing to instead being grateful for what we already have. We’ve all experienced the dramatic impact of shifting from a feeling of lack to one of abundance and fullness. And isn’t that what we ultimately seek? So we can experience more of this fullness by either a) trying to get life to give us more “good” things or b) explore more closely how we evaluate what we get.
I’d like to propose taking this whole gratitude practice to a new level…one that can be life-changing. Perhaps we’ll call it Gratitude 2.0. If we look at how many of us approach gratitude (the Gratitude 1.0 model), we likely reflect on all of the things in our lives – health, relationships, finances, work, things, etc. – and then put them into two categories…something along the lines of “Blessings” and “Curses” or “Good Things” and “Bad Things” (or at least “Good” and “Not so Good” things). For example, “Thank you for the good weather, the nice people and the food I like.” Yet when we do this, we unwittingly create whole parts of our lives that we label failures, bad things, wasted time, injustices, etc. – all of which sap energy and likely leave us feeling deflated, guilty, or resentful. Not very fun or productive experiences are they?
What if we worked with life – ALL of life – versus welcoming some parts and pushing away other parts? What if we looked more deeply to find the blessing in every person, event or circumstance – even ones that are painful, unjust or scary? What if we saw life as happening FOR us instead of TO us? What if all of life became our friend – even though this friend might come in many disguises?
Some of the most inspiring stories ever have come from the most challenging and devastating experiences people have had. Yet it was these experiences that helped them to grow, re-evaluate priorities, find hidden inner strength and begin to experience the magic and power of flowing with all of life.
It doesn’t take much of a person to put things into “Good” and “Bad” boxes and to give thanks for the items in the “Good” box. What is remarkable is to have the strength and wisdom to choose to move more and more items – and perhaps eventually all of life – into a box labeled “Gifts.”
In the world personal technology, I am not what they call an “early adopter” – those people who are the first ones to buy the latest gadgets. So even though I poo-poo’d the advent of the cell phone (“I’ll wait and call when I get home”) and smirked at the invention of email (“I’ll just drop the info in the mailbox”), both of them are now as essential to me as electricity, indoor plumbing and my morning coffee. So over the years I’ve become reliant on countless technological tools that help me to stay connected, communicate and innovate. But of all of the tools I’ve encountered and use, there is one that stands heads and shoulders above the rest in terms of its power, capacity, and innovation. It is truly amazing.
It’s called a pad of paper. Yep, the old pad of paper. A blank pad. Now, to some people this might feel downright scary. Ironically, many people feel (even in the midst of their complaints about email overload) more secure surrounded by email, website content, Facebook updates, Tweets, Evite invitations and bizarre YouTube videos. Many people I’ve worked with have shared how reactive (and often addictive) they have become to responding, scanning, and texting. We’ve become the ultimate Pavlov’s dog: the email alarm sounds and we salivate and open our Inbox. We check for the latest Facebook update about who is doing what. We read blogs of what others have to say about what they’ve read in other people’s blogs. To me it feels like a modern day tragic Greek mythological figure who incessantly tries to bail out a boat of emails and website content that never stops pouring in.
And how much of this has actual value – actual impact that matters? How much of this taps our inner creativity and ideas? Does any of it allow our inner brilliance to shine? Have we lost our ability to daydream and wonder “What if…?” I propose starting with a blank pad. Yep, just you, a pen and a piece of paper. Ideally outside on a nice bench or patch of grass. What would you write…or ask…or doodle? What is it that is within you that is waiting to be expressed, asked or brought to life?
So why do I think that a blank pad of paper is so powerful? Here are a few reasons to consider:
Consider beginning each day not with turning on the computer to see “what’s there to deal with” but to instead begin with a blank page where you ask “Who do I want to be today and what do I want to create?”
Take an hour or two each Friday that is your sacred time to ponder, daydream and vision. Let your pad of paper capture your doodles, thoughts, ideas, questions and bold visions.
Your “productivity” will soar once you “get back to work!”
“Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.” — Guillaume Apollinaire
I had dinner with my friend and speaker colleague, Chip Madera, this week in Orlando, as we were both attending a conference where I was speaking. At one point we were talking about the power of creating a pause – a moment of silence – within one’s presentation and how powerful this can be.
Isn’t it ironic, I thought, that a moment of silence — when nothing is being said or done — could be the most powerful moment in the presentation? And yet I know this well: in many of my individual and group coaching sessions, we begin (at the client’s request) with a couple minutes of centering — a process in which they can set aside all of their thinking, doing, figuring out, and “getting somewhere,” in order to simply be present in the moment. Often clients comment that these moments likely are their most impactful, important, and even productive minutes of their day.
Taking a pause provides so much in so little time, at no cost. Among other benefits, taking even a 5-second pause can:
So when and how might we practice taking a “power pause”? The short answer is that every moment offers the perfect opportunity. But here are a few suggestions:
We are missing out on so much when we stay addicted to a mindless momentum. We can gain so much when in between moving from one thing to the next, we pause to really experience and learn the art of simply being present.
If you try this, my prediction is that pausing during your doing-ness will be the most productive moments you spend each day!
Over the next seven days, find at least ONE time each day when you stop for a power pause. It may be for a few seconds – or if you are really enjoying it – a few minutes.
Experiment with different times and situations using the ideas above as well as your own. Notice when it is easier…and when you find it more difficult. Is it easier when you are by yourself and less so with others? If so, explore why and see if you can s-t-r-e-t-c-h with this!
I really welcome your emails describing your experiences with the power pause!
Have you ever noticed how your birthday always feels different? Celebrations, cards and birthday spankings aside, there’s likely nothing you can point to that looks different than any other day, but it just feels different…special…and extra-ordinary.
Today is my birthday. Now, if no one told me that today was my birthday, then it likely would feel like any other day: the world is still doing what it was doing yesterday and the day before, I look pretty much the same, and those emails have not disappeared. But I’ve created the meaning that today is special – and therefore it is. It’s a day that I get to be in gratitude — celebrating the gift of being alive for the past year. And it’s also the beginning – the birth – of a new year for me. Wow – what a miracle of a day!
What I find so cool about this is that there is no reason why tomorrow can’t be the same: an extraordinary day of celebration, specialness, gratitude and experiencing deeply the gift of being alive. Tomorrow, like today, can be my birth day. If I am lucky enough, I will wake up and be born again into a brand new day. What’s even more amazing is that I don’t have to wait until then: this next hour, this next moment and this next breath can be a rebirth.
Now, you might be thinking: “what a nice, vague, philosophical notion that is,” but I believe it’s really true. In this exact moment, we are being reborn: we draw a new breath, our cells recreate themselves, our brain can think completely new thoughts, and we have an infinite number of ways we can respond. We can choose any direction we want to go right now. Can you grasp how infinitely amazing that is?
It is only when we choose to carry along past “stuff” (old thoughts, beliefs, to-do lists, opinions of others, etc.) that we forfeit the miracle of this rebirth and unwittingly “copy and paste” the old into this new moment. In this moment you and I have a blank slate…a new birth…a fresh new canvas…a world in front of us with unlimited possibility. Are we willing to celebrate and receive this birth day gift?
Imagine today is your birth day…for your life…for your marriage or partnership…for your job…for your work relationships….for your creativity…for your parenting…or for your health.
What if you chose to celebrate one of these just for today? How would you look at it differently? And what would you experience if you saw today as the beginning of a new year — a blank slate — for this part of your life?
Hopefully this simple exercise will help you start seeing each moment, each conversation, each relationship, each meeting and each next step as special, extraordinary, miraculous and worthy of celebration. Enjoy!
